And Tango Makes...a Really Cute Costume!

While most of you are aware of the Miss Ami who types our words of wisdom, you may not know of "The Other Amy" (note difference in spelling), who is President of our Friends of the Library Group.

Having two people with the same name can be confusing, and they are always having to stop people in the middle of a long speech or question to tell them they have the wrong one. The simple solution would be for one of them to change her name. Unfortunately, our Miss Ami insists she was here (at the library) first, but Amy-with-a-y insists she was here (in the community) first, and neither will budge.

At any rate, despite her stubborn refusal to change the name she has had for XX years, we are very glad to have Amy-with-a-y here, only in part because of the wonderful programs she arranges! This week she hosted a Banned Books Gala, where people could dress up as a character from their favorite challenged book.

Are they not absolutely adorable?!

The winner was from one of our favorite challenged books, The Handmaid's Tale:

Lots of fun, and we didn't have to lift a flipper - that's our kind of program:) Thanks again to the Other Amy!

Hunger Games Challenged

Ugh! Another book to make sure you don't let your kids read. Because, you know, reality TV isn't crossing any lines already. And we certainly don't want our kids to start thinking about how far is too far. We also don't want them to think about any moral issues or what is right and what is wrong or question the government or, or, or.

Either this parent hasn't read the whole book, or she just went through it looking for parts she wouldn't like. Of COURSE it's a terrible thing to pit children against each other to the death. That's kind of central to the whole series, isn't it? If the point of the game were for the kids to taunt each other and then hug at the end, that would kind of kill the whole overthrow-the-government push, wouldn't it?

Squee!

Yes, turtles squee.

And we love being mentioned on other blogs. It makes us feel validated:)

Make sure you check out all the links in the post. Then check out this article in Time. Then go read a banned book! (But you can't read Fallout here, some rude patron already checked it out. The nerve.)

Just Too Cute and Other Adorable Stories for Horrible Children, by Mike Reiss

Ahem. We are having some technical difficulties with this post, as our typist keeps giggling. This is NOT a funny book.

(Okay, Miss Ami, we really find it distasteful when you cackle like that.)
 
"Just Too Cute?" Try just too demented! Add this to your list of books to keep away from young children.  It would seem even our young picture book readers are not safe from the twisted minds of those who would call themselves writers. The innocent-looking cover hides a collection of stories and poems about cute animals gone terribly wrong. Performing bears who eat the audience? Exploding dodos? Even the penguin story, while nonviolent, promotes a shocking lack of conformity. Penguins are black and white. Period. Oh, and the rhythm on "Rabbits, Rabbits, Rabbits" is awkward at the end. So there.

Not what our young children should be exposed to. No, animals should always be portrayed as cute, fluffy, and vegetarian.
 
(Wait...Miss Ami, we did NOT authorize you to add the 'favorites' tag! Remove that at once! Are you even listening to us any more??)

Big Nate Strikes Again by Lincoln Peirce - or, Boys' Books to Ban

Tuesday we pointed out some books you wouldn't want your daughters to read, lest they start thinking they are as good as boys*. Today we have a series you will want to keep your sons away from.

* See Monday's post re: sarcasm.

Waaaaaaaaay back in May we had a long, convoluted discussion about the first book in this series, Big Nate in a Class by Himself. What were we thinking?! We actually recommended it for classrooms! This book should definitely not be anywhere near, say, upper elementary/middle school boys.

Yes, boys in that age group are notorious for being reluctant readers, and yes, these books would get them reading, and yes, we suppose they are well written and funny. Big Nate Strikes Again even slides in some information about a historical figure and makes him look cool and interesting (which he was). Wait, what was our objection?

Oh, yes! Who cares if they are both funny and educational, they have comics in them! Everyone knows reading books with comics doesn't really count as reading. There is also the matter of  the way the teachers are portrayed - basically, some have brains, some don't. Are we supposed to think that is realistic? They are teachers, that automatically means they are all smarter than the rest of us.

(Slight pause while Miss Ami, a former teacher, tries to control her indelicate snorting so she can resume typing.)

Last but not least, there is Nate himself. He places a much higher value on sports than on education, fails to appreciate the lovely and intelligent Gina, and doesn't like egg salad. Oh, and he gloats. Is this really the type of character we want our young men to identify with? Certainly not!

This book (reviewed from ARC provided by the publisher) is due on shelves October 19. We strongly urge you to run out and purchase a more suitable book, such as Little Lord Fauntleroy, so that you can surreptitiously put that in Big Nate's place should your local library make this sad purchase.



More Books You Shouldn't Read

As we noted yesterday, it is almost time for Banned Books Week. Coinciding nicely with the start of school, people with too much time on their hands good folks everywhere are ferreting out literary works that should be read by kept away from our children for their own good.

We are saddened relieved to note the end of a fantastic shocking series of books aimed at preteen and teen girls, written by Nancy Springer.

The Enola Holmes Mysteries begin with the disappearance of Eudoria Vernet Holmes - mother to the well-known Sherlock, his very proper brother Mycroft, and his much younger, very unladylike, sister Enola. Shocking as their mother's disappearance is, the brothers quite sensibly and quickly agree to pack Enola off to a finishing school. There she can be safely ensconsed in a corset and have her delicate female mind cleansed of the scandalous notions her suffragist mother has implanted in it.

Unfortunately, Eudoria's notions of feminine independence are too far ingrained, and an ungrateful Enola flees to London - unescorted! Amazingly, the child not only manages to survive several exciting completely inappropriate escapades, but she sets herself up as the secretary to a fictional perditorian (i.e. detective), and actually ends up in competition with the great Sherlock Holmes! Her successes can only be the result of a strange sort of luck - after all, it is not possible that a female, and a child, could be as intelligent or perceptive as her elder brother....or could there be a thing or two Sherlock could learn from her?

This final book, while even more scandalously improper than the others, does at least offer a satisfying explanation as to what happened to their mother (finally!) and wrap things up in a way that will please many readers. We will admit to laughing out loud during several scenes, mostly involving cabs in some way. Hrmph.

Regardless, we simply can't have girls growing up thinking they are as strong and capable as boys, can we? Of course not. We urge you to run right out to your local library and make sure they have in remove from their collection this abominable series. Then check Ebay for corsets for your daughters.

It's the Most Ridiculous Time of the Year...

Hey, it's almost Banned Books Week, and you know what that means - time for the loonies to come out of the woodwork and tell you what you can and cannot read*! We hate to be left out, so here are a few books you should absolutely NOT** read:

First in the news this week is this article, a nicely slanted and wildly inaccurate diatribe against several fantastic books. What's especially 'encouraging' about this article is that the school board is LISTENING to this guy. Here is Laurie Halse Anderson's response. Of course, we know we can't trust HER, she wrote one of them! It's not as if we like any of her stuff anyway.

Anderson mentions the next book for your burn pile, The Absolutely True Story of a Part Time Indian, by Sherman Alexie. This book has been banned by the wise folks on the Stockton (MO) school board, not just from the school curriculum, but from its library as well. Because it contains profanity. And teenagers have never heard profanity. And it's not as if it's realistic. In an autobiography. Of a teenager.

Hey, but we don't want you to think we can't come up with idiocy on our own! No, sir, we can be quite the loons all by ourselves.

We just finished:

 - the sequel to "Streams of Babel", which we swooned over. You certainly mustn't read either book. Two of the main characters, minors, are involved with hacking computers and spying. They are completely (albeit justifiably) disrespectful to some of the adults in their lives. In this sequel, they have dropped out of school and are living pretty much alone, with just a nurse to somewhat-supervise them. And then there are the four teens infected with a terrible virus by bioterrorists, not related to each other, living under the same roof, again with basically just a nurse around. WAY too much talk of ways germs can spread, if yaknowwhaddamean. Because, you know, we shouldn't expect hormones to be a topic of thought or discussion for teenagers. These kids also don't listen to the adults around them. They really should just sit back and watch TV, and let the big people take care of the terrorists. Who may still be interested in them, btw. Very interested.

We all know the government has only our best interests at heart, and we certainly don't want children reading about subversive adults, so stay away from:

Rachel and her mother live on "The Property", an estate where her mother works as a sort of housekeeper, located dangerously close to "The Line". The Line is a force field, part of the National Border Defense System, keeping the bad things out of the country and the good things in. At least, that is what everyone has been told.

Rachel, of course, can't leave well enough alone, especially when she receives what may be a message from the other side of the Line. What is with all these teens who refuse to blindly follow adults' instructions? If this trend continues, we will have a generation of young people who think for themselves, and are willing to accept the consequences if they are wrong. We can't have that, can we?!

Goodness, there are just so many books out there that people shouldn't read***. We may have to just cover a few each day, knowing we will only hit the tip of the iceberg.

In the meantime, and in all seriousness, here is our take on books with non-Pollyanna content - and this is our take, not that of the establishment in which we reside, blah, blah, blah.

Parents have the right to have a say in what their kids do or do not read. They are their parents. They do NOT have the right to decide what other kids do and do not read. They are not their parents.

Digging ourselves slightly deeper...If a teacher feels strongly enough about the merits of a challenged bok that he still wants to use it in a required class, then he should provide students a different option if their parents want one. Parents in such circumstances should be willing to stop with what their child is reading, and not insist that everyone in class read the same thing (and with the millions of great books out there, why should they all read the same thing? If your goal is class discussion, why not offer three or four books on the same topic, and let the kids compare?)

Of course, there are always those people who will complain about any book. In our library alone, we have had patrons who objected to books with: talking animals, romance of any sort, magic, religious content, defiance against parents or other authority figures, violence, mention of the Holocaust, and death of a person or animal. If the subject of the class is, say, the Civil War, you are going to have trouble finding good quality books don't contain one or more of the above. How do we draw the line between a parent's rights concerning their own child, and where those rights infringe on other students' rights? Your thoughts?

* If you do not 'get' sarcasm, please stop reading here.

** unless, of course, you prefer to think for yourself and make your own informed choices. In which case, carry on.

*** One of the commentors on one of the above articles seems to be under the impression that the ALA's list of banned books is there so that people will know what books to take out of their libraries. Aaargh! And again we say, aaargh!!!

Banned Books Week post from Laurie Halse Anderson

We admit it, we are lazy sometimes. You're surprised? You haven't tallied the hours we spend sitting under the sunlamp every day? Besides, when a great author like Laurie Halse Anderson comes out with a post including just about every possible link you could want on a subject, why reinvent the wheel?

Laurie Halse Anderson on Facebook

And a P.S. to adults who would like to ban books like Speak: IT HAPPENS. Deal with it, don't hide it!