Just Too Cute and Other Adorable Stories for Horrible Children, by Mike Reiss

Ahem. We are having some technical difficulties with this post, as our typist keeps giggling. This is NOT a funny book.

(Okay, Miss Ami, we really find it distasteful when you cackle like that.)
 
"Just Too Cute?" Try just too demented! Add this to your list of books to keep away from young children.  It would seem even our young picture book readers are not safe from the twisted minds of those who would call themselves writers. The innocent-looking cover hides a collection of stories and poems about cute animals gone terribly wrong. Performing bears who eat the audience? Exploding dodos? Even the penguin story, while nonviolent, promotes a shocking lack of conformity. Penguins are black and white. Period. Oh, and the rhythm on "Rabbits, Rabbits, Rabbits" is awkward at the end. So there.

Not what our young children should be exposed to. No, animals should always be portrayed as cute, fluffy, and vegetarian.
 
(Wait...Miss Ami, we did NOT authorize you to add the 'favorites' tag! Remove that at once! Are you even listening to us any more??)